Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Do good things

Hello People how are you doing today?

Don't just skip past that i really want to know how you are have a think about it and answer in the comments or don't its all good. However its good to spend some time assessing how you really are? You might be busy but 5 mins just stopping and assessing how you are can really make a difference.

Well i have been looking at micro finance loans today and while i have no money this is a way i might be able to really help someone. The organisation is small businesses around the world ask for loans to help them develop and fund education and such life for there family. They people are not asking for much and it gets repaid to you where you can either take the money back or lend it to another small business. You can start helping for as little as £15 and you can change someones life. this will help there community which will help there business grow. How good will you feel helping these people.

I am doing OK but my back is still hurting . I am on a bit of a fitness kick but its slow due to my back. I think it will get better on its own and its not really stopping me doing anything it is just sore. Prob a trapped nerve

Hockey has ended for the season but we still have the end of season do to look forward to. £10 family ticket £5 adult £3 child ticket come down even if you don't play its a good night and we might talk you into playing next season.

Well enjoy easter weekend if i don't blog before it


Monday, 14 April 2014

Back pain.

Hello people. Thanks to those who read my random waffle. So you know i am also now doing a weekly podcast. Ok well i say weekly i have done 1 and that was about hockey. So that should have said i am going to do a weekly podcast. I am enjoying this social media stuff at the moment so why not just roll with it.

I have hurt my back at some point point and although the pain is not too bad i do feel strange. Think the doctors if i am not right by tomorrow. It is hindering my allotmenting.

I did manage to play hockey with it and it got no worse. I think its just a trapped nerve but its been a week now and normally it has cleared up by now.

Well not really much to say today.

Speak soon


Friday, 28 March 2014

Following dreams

Weekends arrive slowly and leave quickly  this is one of the facts of life. There is never enough time to do all the things you want to do. Sometimes i dont have the motivation and sometimes family life gets in the way. Don't get me wrong i love family life but it does leave you with a sense of guilt when you follow your dreams.

Do you have to give up your dreams when you have a family?? No we don't. It is more important when you have children to follow your dreams to have aspirations and to strive for a better life. Otherwise what examlpe are we setting to our children. Do you want them to think it is ok to give up on your dreams hell no you need them to see that achiving is rewarding and with that in mind it is essential to keep a balance. Don't just chase it at all costs as now you have a family and that too would be wrong. engage them in your dreams and passions make the achivment about you all.

If you give up on your dreams a part of your soul will mourn the loss and this will leave a part of you that will forever go unforfilled. it is better to try and fail then to give up before you start. as i have said before it is offen not about the destination but more about the joy of the trip. Enjoy your days and follow your heart. If you do this your soul will always be full of joy


Thursday, 27 March 2014


Today i have been on training around safe guarding children and young people. I have done plenty of courses like this in the past but have never until today thought about safeguarding myself. I mean this in a emotional sense.

So i am taking some time to think about weather or not i put up barriers that dont need to be there or weather i leave myself open to un-necessary emotional harm.

The answer is a resounding both and after some time thinking about it thats a good thing. I do at times wear my heart on my sleave and at other times stop myself getting to involved with things in order to protect myself from possible exposure to emotional hurt.

I am happy with the way things are at the moment. I feel capable and apart from a paranoid feeling i feel incapable of shaking i am genrally on top of my life. I am getting on well with my degree work is going ok and i have the time i need to myself on my allotment. There is nothing quite like growing your own food and feeding it to your kid!

Well thats me for now


Wednesday, 26 March 2014

End of the season and some other ponderings

Well it has been a while and that’s no bad thing I am moving on well. I have had a busy and productive season at hockey. The allotment is slowly starting to come to life and things in general are looking up. I have stumbled upon a charity in my local area called blue apple heroes who support veterans and families with the after effects of service life. They are small and passionate and I have no fears that under the stewardship of the founder Mark Smith they will conquer the world and make a real difference to the lives of veterans and there families.

If you would like to find out more about them check out there website

Well I wont go on about them too much and will return to my favourite subject of me.

I am doing really well I seem to be able to maintain a level of OK that sometimes becomes really really happy this on occasion is  followed by days of profound sadness but on the whole I am upbeat and capable of getting on with things. I am glad I got the support I did when I did. The impact from getting a social life back has been amazing and hockey will be sorely missed over the summer. I feel like I fit in there maybe because we are a bunch of misfits and vagabonds (and that’s just the ladies section) or maybe as I feel it is because they are a group of outstanding people with real values and a welcoming openness that enables you to be yourself.

My son Luke has started playing hockey with me on a Saturday and has over the last few weeks decided he wants to be a keeper. Now as much as the sport needs lunatics to stand in front of the goal while people whack balls at them I did not expect Luke to be a eager volunteer but he was and in his first game in the role on Saturday I was very proud of how well he did.

Well that’s all for now will post again soon and let you know how I am getting on


Wednesday, 12 February 2014

New year new me

Well its been a while but here i am. Not sure if i am selfish for not writing or if its a victory for me as i feel i dont need to. I have had a bad couple of days but even at my worst i was not as low as i used to be. I still practice my mindfulness and am still playing hockey. We are somehow 3rd in the leauge which is amazing and i put it all down to my leadership. If you want to read about the hockey i started a new blog so as not to bog this one down. You will find it at

I am going to try to put more on here maybe a post a week as i have gotten lazy. Over the last few months.


Tuesday, 22 October 2013

A old diary post and some reflection

Below is a extract for my diary from about 2 years ago. It is hard to think that that is how i felt. I can only thank the people around me. The people who helped me!

I feel like time has run out for me...that i have used up what was set aside for me.....i should have died years ago....i am struggling with everything.......i just want to be at peace with myself.....i don't like myself....i have no friends.......i can bearly provide for freya....i am a constant failier......I don't think i can keep going......I put on a front most of the time to the point that i don't even know who i am.....I have no patience with the kids.....I am in such pain most of the time both physical and mental....i don't sleep......i over eat.....i am lazy....unfocused.....incapable of finishing the simplest task.....i get chest pain from the stress.....i have given up on myself today and i doubt anyone will care.....I am only just holding on and without freya i think i would be gone now.....I feel like i have let everyone down.....

Well i guess i was in a bad way. I don't even recall writing it but it was me. How time helps and heals. Look after them around you and support them. Don't judge people on how they act you have no idea what has gone on in there life. 1 thing that helped me was making the decision to be a little more selfish. With that came the power to give so much more.

Today i feel on top of world even if i do have broken ribs. I have re connected with old friends and made some amazing New ones.

If its all to much and you feel lost ask for help. It worked for me. I feel better than i ever thought possible.