Running on empty

It has been a busy 6 weeks for me with work and child care due to the summer holidays. I have loved spending so much time with Freya but I am now running on empty. She is back at school tomorrow. Don't get me wrong I am happy to have had the chance to spend so much time with her over the holidays but she needs to be back at school to keep her mind active and to socialise with her friends. I will miss her and at the same time I will be happy to get a bit of time to recharge. Not from sleep but emotionally. I just feel drained.

Some of this is me not processing stuff right and my insomnia which has reached a level I have never known. If I get 3 hours a night I am doing well. I get really anxious about my health and feel I might die at any point. This is worse as with shells health issues I worry about the kids if something does happen to me. I have been trying to overcome the issues but I am noticing everything my body does much more intensely. I keep thinking I should go to the doctor but since being told that it was all in my head by her I feel a bit reluctant. Maybe it is just health anxiously and there is nothing wrong with me.

I went to the pub last night for the first time in months for a pint. I was OK and I enjoyed socialising but today I feel rough. I only had 2 pints so its not a hang over its just my stomach and this crappy chest pain and pressure behind my ears.

Well that's all for now

Stay safe speak soon

Russ